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Sunny Side Up or Over Easy?

by Marty
May 2006

Should we be worried about the future?

We've been carrying on a discussion at Lost Valley about peak oil and global warming and whether or not we are dealing with it or in denial. Below is a post that I submitted.

No offense taken for the point about my being optimistic. I do identify as an optimist. But are you saying pessimism is better? I understood this thread to be saying, "Let's look at reality. Let's deal with what we can see coming down the pipes (or rather not coming). Let's plan now for economic collapse and for natural disasters." I agree with all of that. But what did not ring true for me is the idea that the way to do that is to focus on the "dark side".

My way of dealing with it does take an optimistic swing. I'm remembering kaseja riding the '94 quake in LA and saying "This is fun!" I'm not saying one third of world's population dying off will be fun. It's the attitude for me. We might as well make the best of it.

When Malachite was born, I had a life-altering experience. I held his peacefully sleeping body in my arms and gazed down at him and was suddenly washed over with an enveloping panic. "Oh my god, what have I done?" I thought. In my mind, I had visions, well nothing really visual, but more the visceral feeling in an almost knowing sort of way that I was bringing this innocent child into a world of war, disaster, suffering and greif. I felt horrible, responsible, irresponsible, and completely helpless. And then, another knowledge came to me. I was humbled by the reminder that Malachite is his own person. Here I was presuming responsibility as if I had created him. No, he is his own person and he has own reasons for coming into being. I am merely who he came through. Who am I to know what role his existence will play in the things to come? Who am I to interfere? I felt a sense of trust and willingness to face whatever comes our way with integrity and in my highest vision. The trust is not "Don't worry, be happy." It is the trust that the light and the dark need each other, life death and rebirth are the cycle, I am here for a reason, I cannot know all the effects of my actions or the outcome of my endeavors. I strive to be true and willing and adventurous and, for me, fun-loving as I go.

One thing I'm doing right now is to participate in the NWEI discussions and build interdependent neighborhood resource sharing. We are talking about starting up a regular coffee hour at the Dexter library for neighbors to get together and talk about these things for the purposes of 1) localizing our economy 2) becoming more bioregionally focused and 3) preparing ourselves to be able to co-exist in isolation. Each person has their own "investment" in this. Pam may have given up on us as not radical enough, she hasn't come to the last few discussions. Justine wants to know that someone out there will come and find her or that she can find someone when everything collapses. Fergus wants to set up a local radio signal for the time when we still have radio communication but our cell phones don't work and the internet is down and the telephones don't work. I'd rather see a human communication chain. I walk to Pam's house. She walks to Justine's. Justine walks to Marion's. And so on.

What I like about these discussions is that this sense of neighborhood community is something I want whether or not global warming or peak oil demand it of me. I can keep an ear out to those who feel compelled to walk through the streets ringing a bell and chiming that the end is near. But I'll still be the jester ambling along with a smile on my face. I hear the warnings, but I'm not doomed.

I think it's OK to follow our bliss even when we are facing disaster. I don't feel like I am "blind" when I look on the bright side. I think, so we are cut off from the world outside of Dexter/Lowell and left to fend for ourselves; that's neat. I guess I have lived without electricity and only a hand pump for water. I feel capable, it's not scary to me. Floods and earthquakes are scary. People dying all around me, that's scary. But again, when it comes to that, we'll deal with it. We'll come together to help each other. But there's a way in which I feel like I need to cross that bridge when I come to it. I can't start building greenhouses full of relief beds for sheltering the displaced homeless residents of Dexter today when the floods haven't hit yet.

I guess I don't want to be so focused on the future that I don't see what is present. I live very much in my present environment. And sure, gas prices are present. I'm trying to make bio-diesel from the used grease at the Dexter Market. Malachite came to me with a sense of urgency and asked me to go out and buy a lot of tomato seeds and peas because when the oil runs out we're gonna need that to survive. I told him that there were tomatoes and peas before we ever started drilling oil out of the ground and there will be tomatoes and peas after we stop drilling oil out of the ground. I don't think it's good for him to be scared of not having food. I don't think it's good for any of us. Fear is great for immediate response to danger. Just like pain is good for an immediate response to injury. But in the same way that holding onto pain is suffering, holding onto fear does not serve me well. It's great that Willits is getting their shit together and if it is urgency that motivates them, fine. But I am motivated by what brings me joy.