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Fun in Seattle

Well, Mitch and I did it again for the third time and went to the FTM conference in Seattle. This time we brought beth and Lisa Stein. Reid and his friend Louis joined us in the hotel. We all went for a swim in the hotel pool our first night there. I love my gang, we are all so wonderful.

beth and I put on a session about parenting that I think went pretty well. We did some milling (an exercise that involves lots of one-on-one and serves as both an icebreaker and a way to get to the core of things faster.) Then we broke into groups to discuss different parenting issues ranging from family planning to how to talk to kids about gender stuff to alternative family structures. We got some good feedback on the interactive exercises.

This conference is one of the places where I go to explore my gay self. And I got to do that this year in a big way, the best way. I fell in love. I've been drawn to Dimitri ever since I first met him at the 2004 conference. He's an ASL interpreter, very friendly and attractive, and up until this year, he's been in a relationship and unavailable.

Marty and Dimitri at the Gender Odyssey BBQ

I first saw him this year at the Gay Reception. I tried to be graceful and not too transparent when he told me that he and his lover had broken up. Dean was there, too. I decided to follow Dean's advice and be bold. I asked Dimitri for a date. Dimitri's response was to let me know that he is attracted to me and the only thing stopping him is the fact that I am poly and his friends have all advised him to "Stay away from those kinky poly boys." I pushed him saying "I'm not asking you to marry me, I'm just asking for a date." He told me he feared he would fall in love with me. I stayed focused on the present moment and pushed for that date. He is so much everything I have wanted in a man. He is kind, good-looking, experienced, able to laugh and most importantly see me for who I am and fully embrace me. I'd be damned if I'd just let that opportunity pass me up. He finally relented and we met at the BBQ on Saturday night.

I had no idea how good it would be. He is so wonderful. I know it's always like this in the beginning and I know I'm starry eyed. But still, the more I find out about him, the better it gets. We are the exact same age, born just days apart. We have many common interests and sensitivities. We just seem to "get" each other so well. We are compatible in all the most important ways - interpersonally, spiritually, sexually. Now I just have to decide what to do about living so far apart (he lives in Seattle). He seems to be fine with my relationship with beth. I've made it very clear to him that she means a lot to me. In fact, beth and I are closer now than ever. We're really forging a partnership between us and planning our future together in a way that is very deep for both of us. beth, too, sees how happy I am about Dimitri. She's been super great about encouraging me. She even coached me in my correspondence with Dimitri. I feel really saturated in hope and possibilities these days. It's an exciting and scary place to be.

I really feel like I have no choice but to surrender to love in this case. I am undeniably drawn to Dimitri and whether it makes sense or not, I have to follow that. I know it's crazy, I only had two nights with him. But I can feel things shifting inside me in huge ways. I feel settled, complete in a way I haven't felt for years. As things deepen with beth, I can see the possibility of committing to poly fidelity with both beth and Dimitri. If I can somehow have both of them in my life, I don't feel the need for anything else. In fact, and I can hardly believe this is coming from me, it feels good somehow to close the open doors of polyamory and really cozy down with the two of them. Sigh. I'm not sure where this is all going, but I'm happy to be on this path.