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FTM2004 in Seattle

Marty goes on a Gender Odyssey

Hey I went to this great conference over Labor Day weekend. I want to tell you all about it but I only have time for a few short notes. I'll get to more later. But this great guy named Mitch gave me a ride up and back. He also took along Jordi and Toby at the last minute. It was wonderful to have all that time on the road to connect with trans and genderqueer folks in Eugene. My experience at the conference focused on trannyfag stuff. I have never really had sex with a man before and many of you know that I've been looking for it for a while now. I learned a lot about the many differences between the ways women and men tend to cruise each other (in general, you know). I also had fun at a gay bar on Saturday night and played in a play party on Sunday.

But the most profound thing for me about my weekend was coming full circle to the time I came to Seattle for a PowerSurge conference ten years ago. My then lover Ginger (now Jackal) took me to that conference. And it was held at the same venues and was run by some of the same people that were running FTM2004. I knew Jackal was living in the area, but we hadn't really seen each other or had a heart to heart talk in nearly ten years. Well, we met for lunch on Sunday. I felt something really shift for me. Here we were again, in Seattle, face to face. It felt like it was a long time coming. Thanks, Jackal, for making the space for that.

I'm looking forward to starting my new life in Oregon. We move into our little apartment at Lost Valley this week. I'm excited about keeping in touch with my FTM friends in town. And I'm thinking about writing a personal ad looking for someone to teach me how to be sexual with a man. Maybe I'll find a boyfriend for my birthday.

Marty goofing off for the camera

Hey, this is Marty. I'm an FTM (female to male transsexual). When kaseja and I met, we were lesbian identified. Now we both identify as bisexual. With that and the poly thing, we're pretty strongly queer identified. I have hosted FTM support groups here at our house in Berkeley, and I'd like to continue doing that wherever I end up in Eugene. kaseja and I have been on speakers panels, both individually and together. We've presented on panels and been asked to come be the guest speaker at a variety of classroom settings. We've also presented at our local Unitarian Church. Recently, I completed a training at UC, Berkeley to lead workshops on being an LGBTI ally.

kaseja in the redwoods

Marty and i (kaseja) have always been non-monogamous and though we love each other we are actually not being lovers right now. We are good companions and almost always on the same page when it comes to money, parenting issues, able-ism, racism, class issues and the like. We have been together 12 years now and have reason to believe we can do this for the rest of our lives. Marty and i have had various configurations of having other lovers and are very comfortable being polyamorous and talking about it with other people. We think being poly can be a wonderful tool for breaking down that which divides us in our world: sharing is good. We have considered giving workshops on polyamory and interpersonal communication.